Travel+Plans

Student's Work and Teacher's Comments （2011-2012 Chinese IV Class）
Please give a big hand to the following student's VoiceThread projects. The order of names/projects is random, doesn't reflect the teacher's preference.

1. Sidi'an 司迪安 Luolaoshi's comments: Overall your project is very well done. You well modeled to follow the rubric carefully and provided many good advice to your team members. Thank you! Suggestion for correction: 1) 你会去中国，我很高兴. Since you are in China right now, when you talk to your friend, you should say 你会来中国．．． 2) The word for "Either ...or... " is 或者．Remember we did the comparison when we learned 或者 and 还是 3) You should look up the Chinese word for the Bird Nest. 4) Although I like your ending, there is a classic mistake - call me - 给我打（一个）电话， not 给我一个打电话

2. Baoweili 包薇莉 Luolaoshi's comments: Nice job! You have incorporated many newly learned sentence structures from the textbook and workbook. I like your opening very much, warm and inviting,

3. Pengjibo 彭济博 Luolaoshi's comments: I agree with Josh. This is a well conducted VoiceThread. To fully complete this project, you need to comment on your team member's voicethread. However, I can't find any comments from you. Thanks to Josh's nice touch on each slide, you can see how the public would comment on your project in general. I am very impressed that your speech contains very few grammar errors. Here are two minor errors that I noticed in your speech. 1) 你在北京的时候，你还和我一起住. Replace 还 with 可以 2) You'd better come to Beijing in Spring. Had better - 最好还是，你最好还是春天来北京.

4. Pangpengtai 庞朋泰 Luolaoshi's comments: Thumb up! The entire Voicethread sounds very smooth, fluent with beautiful pronunciation. Yes, I am proud that you have incorporated many newly learned vocabulary and sentence structures, meantime showed a little humor on your speech. Here are a few talking points: 1) 你可以跟我留在我的公寓. change the verb 留 to 住 2） 你在沙发上得睡觉. It is quite amusing that you invited your friend to sleep on the sofa and told him that your sofa was very comfortable. To express what you meant to say, I suggest you change the word order to 你得在沙发上睡觉 3）Excellent introduction about touring Beijing on oneself. The verb for 自行车 is 骑，not 开 4）I like the fact that you pointed out that Shanghai is not an ancient city with many historical sites, however, it is modern. 上海没有很多古迹，可是有很多摩天大楼. By making this kind of comparison, you showed your sound knowledge about Shanghai. 5) You need to follow the rubric to add citations and comment on your team member's projects.

5. Simawei 司马伟 Luolaoshi's comments: I give you thumb-up on this project. Your voicethread itself was well conducted, according to the rubric, you failed to comment on Tory and Maddie's projects. Below are a few suggestions that I made for you for future improvement.

1) You will stay in my apartment. There are two errors in 你在我的公寓会住 - word order and wrong helping verb - I suggest you change it to 你可以在我的公寓住. or 你可以住在我的公寓. 2）Pronunciation for 有意思 的“意” 3）Chinese people like to use 老百姓 for ordinary people or common people, not 普通人 4）这儿是离天安门广场很近. 是 should not be used here 5) 你会那边走路-word order - 你可以走到天安门广场去. or 你可以走路去天安门广场 6）Tea house - 茶室 or 咖啡屋, people don't say 茶屋 in China 7）我不能等待看你 change to 我等不及看到你.

6. Biwenshan 毕雯珊 Luolaoshi's comments: Nice job! I think your introduction about Beijing was very informative and unique. Nice comments on your team member's projects.I agree with Tory that you should have look up the words for Bond and Business Center in Chinese in stead of mixing the English words in your speech. Below are a few talking points that I would like to mention. 1) Pronunciation for the words 吵、寓、春 2) Here is quiet - 这是很安静 is not a good sentence, needs to be 这儿很安静. 3) 下个星期以后，我当你的导游. First of all, we don't know if your friend is coming this week, thus you can't use 下个星期. From the context, I think what you meant to say was "a week later," therefore, 一个星期以后，我会请一个星期的假，当你的导游.

7. Handuoli 韩多莉 (click on this link will take you to the site)

Luolaoshi's comments: I like this VoiceThread very much. Nice Job!

1) 我很高兴，因为你是来北京. change 是 into 要 2）公寓很大，和离...很近. The word 和 can only connect list of things, not two clauses. You can either drop the word or use 而且 3）你不迷路. need to add 会 to predict that "you will not get lost." - 你不会迷路. 4) 我请一个星期的假 - as something planned, you need to add 会 as a helping verb - 我会/要请一个星期的假. 5) Your introduction about 西安 is very informative. 6) You really took time to review your classmate's projects. I appreciate all the comments that you made, very through and constructive.